Memorial 🇺🇸 Day Remix '23
Mother of Muses, Anniversaries, Déjà Vu All Over Again
Greetings at this annual holiday in honor of memory itself, a defining potent mix of precious and poignant.
Noted by giants of literature and psychology such as Nabokov, Faulkner and Jung among many others, profound regard dates to the ancient Greeks. For them the goddess Mnemosyne/Memory (illustrated at top center column) ranked among the Titans, first-generation and most important of the pantheon.
From Greek mythology source Theoi.com:
MNEMOSYNE was the Titan goddess of memory and remembrance who invented language and words.
As a Titan daughter of Ouranos (Uranus, Heaven), Mnemosyne was also a goddess of time. She represented the memorization required to preserve the stories of history and the sagas of myth before the introduction of writing. In this role she was the mother of the Muses who were originally patron goddesses of poets of the oral tradition.
And Mnemosyne was a minor oracle-goddess like her Titan sisters.
Mnemosyne was sometimes named as one of three Elder Muses, who preceded the nine daughters of Zeus as goddesses of music.
Along today’s other title-themes, Memorial Day weekend is a newShrink anniversary: The initial Welcome Shrink-wrap 5.30.21 posted two years ago. My special thanks to you charter-readers who have supported and encouraged from early-conception phases… and to all who continue to read and expand this community via “joins, shares, and invites.”
In the more literal Memorial day of remembrance sense of anniversaries, national and international news of Ukraine’s fight against Russian invasion continues now well into its second year.
And by midweek that remembrance would add a fresh and uniquely American loss that reverberated internationally:
Tina Turner, Magnetic Singer of Explosive Power, Is Dead at 83 (The New York Times)
Hailed in the 1960s for her dynamic performances with her first husband, Ike, she became a sensation as a recording artist, often echoing her personal struggles in her songs.
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From this week’s first anniversary of the Uvalde school massacre to latest ironic absurdity in Florida’s war on woke, there’s the sense of the title’s déjà vu in the late Coach Yogi Berra’s classic sense of the term. Notice, for example, how much of this lede illustration from last year’s edition is still all-too-relevant.
#1. Memorial Day 2022 State of the Soul: “Talkin’ World War III Blues”
Regarding both the Dylan and Hillman quotes, the year-ago segment provides history and facts about this weekend’s holiday that extend beyond remembering casualities of literal war. From the section “Memorial Day and Wars: More Than Metaphors”:
“These so-called culture-wars are not — or no longer seem to be— just metaphor.
Maybe it more easily escapes our notice without a colorful mortar-fire bombardment of Fort Sumter across Charleston Harbor or clear geographic north-south/Mason-Dixon lines delineating enslaving and non-enslaving states.
Or maybe we are collectively numbed, in fight-flight-freeze mode of reaction to such varied, frequent and wide-ranging breaches and erosions of our democracy. In any case this year’s commemoration of those lost in American wars seems neither long ago nor far away.
Here are a few things you may not know about Memorial Day from Time Magazine and Memorial Day facts from history.com.
The holiday began in May 1868 as Decoration Day to remember those who died fighting for the Union in the Civil War.
Southern States honored Confederate dead on separate days until after World War I, when the holiday came to be called Memorial Day and began to honor those killed in all U.S. wars.
Even today some Southern states still have legally designated Confederate Decoration Days on their books.
A federal law calls for a formal national moment of remembrance to be held at 3 p.m. each Memorial Day. Some records show the practice began with one of the earliest Memorial Day commemorations that was organized by a group of formerly enslaved people in Charleston, SC, less than a month after the Confederacy surrendered in 1865.”
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Here is where I found it interesting to notice in both last year’s and the current holiday edition the compelling, and different, images, voice and poems from Amanda Gorman. She was the US youth poet laureate whose stunning poem was a highlight of President Joe Biden’s 2021 inauguration. Where a year ago she expressed our collective grief, outrage and helplessness over Uvalde, this week she’s in a different, unwelcome spotlight.
#2. Florida school limits access to Amanda Gorman's inaugural poem and other books after a parent's complaint
(From NBC News)
A Miami-Dade County Public Schools committee moved Amanda Gorman's "The Hill We Climb" to the middle school section of a library in Miami Lakes, Florida.
The title was tailored for elementary school-level reading, but the committee recommended it be shifted to the middle school shelves because of vocabulary and subject matter, according to the documents.
In the form regarding “The Hill I Climb,” the parent wrote that it was “not educational” and contains indirect “hate messages.” The review committee found Gorman’s book has educational value, according to the documents, but it was moved because its vocabulary “was determined to be of value for middle school students.”
In a tweet posted later Tuesday, Gorman said a ban is "any action taken against a book that leaves access to a book restricted or diminished." The decision to move her book after a parent's complaint "diminishes the access elementary schoolers would have previously had to my poem."
Such situations and stories are a good reminder of the people, issues and stories that are very much alive and bear research, revisiting and focused discussion.
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#3. A note on timing, June editions and summer topics ahead
There will be NO newShrink next weekend, June 2-5, as six of us wil be in Charlottesville, VA, for the historically re-examined and expanded From Slavery to Freedom experience of Thomas Jefferson’s enslaving plantation Monticello; James Madison’s Montpelier through similar widened lenses; and the Memorial to Enslaved Laborers at the University of Virginia. (The trip is also a welcome reunion of special former “Covid-survival ‘pod’” friends, a bit of remedy to the fact all of us are regrettably no longer living in the greater Charlotte area.)
These re-imaginings of historic experience will surely show up in countless contexts of future newShrinks…
… especially as long as there’s ample supply of news like the next item.
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#4. “Appalling remarks made on NC House floor. Do better, GOP “
The header here is an opinion piece from The Charlotte Observer editorial board.
By writing time the following front-page Observer story presented the facts leading up to both NC representatives’ losing committee leadership roles under rare bipartisan disdain over the incidents. Neither lost his seat in the legislature, however.
I have added here the bracketed bold italic additions to a published headline so vaguely attempting so-called neutrality that it doesn’t say anything about what happened.
NC lawmakers resign leader roles after [racial- and gender-related disparaging of fellow Black Democrat legislators by] remarks on race, [abortion and] faith.
In addition to continuing culture-war stories and issues like these on the news side, the psychological dimensions are also on the summer menu ahead.
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#5. American psyche: A little summer newShrink fare
Nationwide, particularly in less urban areas, both crisis-level need and shortage of licensed therapists of all kinds are increasing. That brings newShrink focus through the summer and beyond to the state of psychotherapy in both the depth/soul and mental-health dimensions.
For that I’ll be referencing and recommending reading resources along the way. Essays here from the recent entire edition of The New York Times Magazine on various aspects of the subject, plus one regular feature from The Atlantic, provide good foundation for that. I’ll likely be mentioning some of these again.
Starting at top and bottom left column (all from NYT unless otherwise noted):
Does Therapy Really Work? Let’s Unpack That.
The Evidence for Therapy
(At top right) I’m a Couples Therapist. Something New Is Happening in Relationships.
How Do You Actually Help a Suicidal Teen?
(At top Center) What Your Therapist Doesn't Tell You
(At bottom right) IHad to Quit Therapy to Finally Be Ready for It
And finally, from The Atlantic (at bottom center), to me a better resource from inside the therpay room than this final NYT Magazine piece is from a different source. Practicing therapist Lori Gottlieb’s memoir about her own experiences is the very good Maybe You Should Talk To Someone.
From her weekly “Dear Therapist” column in The Atlantic, here is what turned out to be a deeply wise unpacking and guidance about one of the biggest and universal things that bring suffering people to seek help from therapists: Secrets.
Dear Therapist: My Daughter’s ‘Brother’ Is Actually Her Father (Lori Gottlieb in The Atlantic)
After 30 years, I want to tell her the truth, but I don’t know how.
In the column Gottlieb aptly, though only casually in passing, alludes to Jung’s description of secrets as “psychic poison.” His discussion of this bears further exploration in an upcoming edition. (Meanwhile, the quote is from Practice of Psychotherapy, Vol. 16, pp. 55-60 of his Collected Works.)
At first the headline on this Gottlieb response to an inquiry from a letter-writer seemed so over-the-top that I almost didn’t read it. I’m glad I did. (The situation here is more nuanced and complex than it sounds.)
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Meanwhile, on a lighter note here’s a call for your observations — or maybe sleuthing skills — on a matter part-curiosity, part plain-silliness.
#6 . There’s no place like… barn-dominium?
Along daily drives in my area this phenomenon has me mystified, by now way-overthinking as I keep trying for a psychological take on it. Perhaps a newShrink soon will look at what we mean (and what we express) when we say and think of home. Also, what does it mean to us humans as well as other species — from psychological, archetypal as well as practical aspects?
Maybe your grandads or dads, like mine, would say “close that door behind you, were you brought up in a barn?” Well, today they could be saying instead: “Are you or anyone you know living or planning to live in a barndominium?!”And are any of them sprouting like dandelions — very pricey dandelions — in your area, as in mine?
These are not the horse kind, now fairly common in areas where people keep, ride and naturally want to live close to or even in adjoining quarters with their horses. Marketed (and priced) as luxury garage residences, these are 1600-2500 square-foot living spaces that are literally inside 5000-7000 square-foot, air conditioned, usually at least double-height, garage bays. They are also not your normal motorhome or camper-equipped residential housing; here units that are basically enormous garages have luxury exterior and interior features. They are selling quickly — above initial asking prices — for over a million dollars per unit.
Here’s a sales interview video of the most elaborate of the five such projects now along this single, long (mostly unzoned) thoroughfare. One way in and out, at one end are interstate exits and suburban shopping/professional office complexes and apartments. Ultimately it’s the sole access route to residential old and new lake neighborhoods on each side and end of a peninsula.
Two quoted excerpts from the video are grabbing attention and spurring lively conversation around here. One is reference to these luxury garage residential barndominiums in this way:
“These are for people who really want to live with all of their vehicles, their toys, and you know, their car collections….”
And the coffee-spewer:
“Oh, and this is for the many people who want to downsize. In addition to the garages some units have ample additional space in the living-quarters that can be built-out for additional storage.” [for more toys?]
With topics like this it’s great to have and tap newShrink readers and friends in so many different time-zones and community settings. Are you seeing, hearing about — even buying, selling or living in one of these or know people who are? I’d like to hear about it
Who is buying these, and what is the lure?
Beyond exploring our individual and collective meanings and relationship to home, it seems a look at intense attachment relationship with our vehicles might also be in the cards.
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If your area’s holiday weekend has been drowned-out by pummeling rain and absurdly unseasonal cold temps, I hope you and yours have at least stayed safe, warm and dry.
I’ll leave you now with a sweet surprise that arrived two-to-three weeks earlier than the usual mid-June annual debut — just in time to brighten a weekend of outdoor activity now suddenly forced indoors.
From my very favorite, and very favorite colour, among all the cut-flower bloomers, it’s the old fashioned (mop-head) hydrangeas. (Endless summer-blooming types are nice, but never reach the originals’ colour-intensity.)
And, that is all I have! Talk to you in two weeks.
🦋💙 tish
… it is important that awake people be awake,
or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep;
the signals we give — yes or no, or maybe —
should be clear: the darkness around us is deep.
— William Stafford, “A Ritual to Read to Each Other”
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